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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25801636">To Be a Toad (Because Frogs Are Overrated)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_kunokimchi/pseuds/Le_kunokimchi'>Le_kunokimchi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Prancing Around Insanity's Lot [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, BAMF Klaus Hargreeves, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kinda, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Klaus's way is just a little... frightening, Mild Gore, Mild Language, Other, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 02, Protective Klaus Hargreeves, Season/Series 02 Spoilers, everybody grieves in their own way, sparrow ben is not very nice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:27:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,587</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25801636</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_kunokimchi/pseuds/Le_kunokimchi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’ll do it,” he says with shaky resolve, his smile slightly crazed, “Being distracting and causing mischief is my specialty; y’all are a bunch of amateurs."</p><p>Allison, Luther, and Five didn’t look convinced.</p><p>He says a little more pleadingly, “Just let me do this, please.”</p><p>They didn’t get to argue about it much longer as footsteps were heard rounding the corner.<br/>“Fine,” Five bites out reluctantly, “But if you die, I’ll kill you.”</p><p>Klaus huffs a laugh at the contradiction. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hargreeves &amp; Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves &amp; Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves &amp; Everyone, Number One (sparrow) and Klaus Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Prancing Around Insanity's Lot [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>663</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Numerous OTPS Infinite Fandoms</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To Be a Toad (Because Frogs Are Overrated)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So I had this idea to cope with the fact that Klaus got maybe a five-second badass moment in the first two minutes of season two but then NEVER got another one. In the whole fight scene against the commission, we didn't get to see how powerful Klaus had become; he didn't even fight anyone! I just want my baby ghost boy to prove to his siblings that he is useful and not a deadbeat junkie, that he could be just as reliable and responsible (if need be) as Ben is... was... (as you can see I'm kinda bitter with the whole possession scene, Diego got his best sibling card revoked). </p><p>~Anyways, I hope you enjoy and I warned about spoilers so don't get your panties in a wad.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He was floating for a few seconds; just a few. His heart was flooded with relief and pride and love and some odd form of grief. They did it: they stopped the apocalypse, Ben finally got to have his happily ever after, and they were blissfully back into 2019. Nothing should have ruined the moment. Nothing should have made his light airiness convert to absolute dead weight as he comes crashing into reality with a wheeze. All it took was one face; all it took was an exchange of words. All it took was the bitter reality that they were the Umbrella Academy: nothing ever came free and easy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But nothing, absolutely nothing in their godforsaken reality, could have prepared him for the “Dad, who are these assholes?” in an all too familiar voice, uttered from an all too familiar face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears his siblings collectively mutter “Shit,” but the voices are faded and far back within the recesses of his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t make a sound as he stared at this man- at this </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span> that was wearing his brother’s face but definitely </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>his brother. Ben liked his hair slicked back, he liked having a clean-shaven face; he liked wearing black edge-lord clothes, not their itchy and constricting uniforms. Ben didn’t like judging people at first glance; he didn’t like speaking up around people he didn’t know; he didn’t like speaking to </span>
  <em>
    <span>their </span>
  </em>
  <span>father and he most certainly didn’t stare at his family with such cold malevolence in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s not Ben.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mouth just hangs open uselessly as images of his quiet, dorky, and kind brother flood into his mind, montages of their best moments and their worst nightmares: times he could never get back, times that meant literally nothing to the imposter in front of him. Because that’s what he was, right? An imposter wearing a Ben suit? Surely this isn’t God’s cruel punishment for not having Ben go into the light sooner. Surely the gentle soul the medium once knew and grew to appreciate more than anything isn’t completely lost to the pit of anger and negativity standing before him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s not Ben.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They are nothing more than inconveniences,” Reginald replies effortlessly, his typical biting and critical tone doing nothing short of pressing every nerve in their bodies. They just can’t escape him, can they? He haunts their dreams, he haunts their past, he haunts their future, he now haunts their present; Klaus could easily attest that he was more like the heartless spirits than Ben ever was. And while he is on the comparison, that’s exactly what this not-Ben’s gaze reminded him of: a ghost, an angsty bitter phantom ready to taunt him until he begs for mercy. The imposter looked like he’d enjoy it too. It was a bad dream come true; Klaus has </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>feared Ben becoming just like the rest of the dead, it just wasn’t as present in his mind until the whole possession fiasco went down. It was a very </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive</span>
  </em>
  <span> fear now though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s not Ben.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Klaus has always been one to surrender to impulse, especially impulses that screamed pain, danger, and </span><em><span>bad bad bad why the fuck were you ever given free will? </span></em><span>And normally he’d give in to temptation no matter how poor of a choice it is simply because he </span><em><span>felt </span></em><span>like it and Ben would tell him “No, idiot, don’t do it. That’s stupid,” but that would just spur him on even more because he always had an urge to be spiteful and disappointing in literally everything he does. And then afterward, he’d get an earful of “I told you so”’s and “this is why people don’t like you”’s and “honestly, I don’t know how you’ve survived this long”’s and he’d just shrug it off and get right back on his shit. But there was no Jiminy Cricket on his shoulder this time. All he had was sheer willpower; and although he wasn’t known to have very much discipline or restraint to begin with, he now had to pull every last ounce from his long-forgotten reserves to NOT crack a joke, to NOT fall on his knees and weep about how close they were to being happy, to NOT run right up to his not-brother and plant a kiss to his not-forehead </span><em><span>because</span></em> <em><span>the cheeky bastard wasn’t lucky enough to escape him. </span></em><span>He can’t do any of that; he’s frozen in place and just stares in disbelief because </span><em><span>that’s not Ben.</span></em></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what?” Five snarls, “You’re just gonna throw us out? We are </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> Umbrella Academy. You adopted us first-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And it was clearly the worst decision of my life since you’ve managed to not only cause the apocalypse once but twice. You are not welcome here, you do not </span>
  <em>
    <span>belong </span>
  </em>
  <span>here,” Reginald sneered with a look of utter disinterest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Number One-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luther perks up for a brief moment before immediately deflating as their father’s gaze settled on the not-Ben. A chill passes through the room in anticipation. Klaus’s mouth goes dry as panic began to bubble into his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-Dispose of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand flies up to Allison’s mouth as she attempts to smother a pained whimper; Five and Vanya go still as they look up in shock; Luther bobs his lips like a fish out of water; Diego stutters out a wary, “B-Ben?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Klaus meets the look-alike’s eyes for a split-second, searching for a familiarity that he knew wouldn’t be there. He was desperate for a mere glimpse of </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben, </span>
  <em>
    <span>their </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben; a sign that their beloved deceased was still in there, somewhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he knows that his hope was futile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The irises are dark and clouded with power, arrogance, and hatred; his thin lips twist into a wanton smirk. This was not their Number Six, this would never be their Number Six. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“D-Don’t do this, Ben. T-This isn’t y-you,” the knife-wielder continued to plead, still not registering the gruesome fate that awaited them if they stayed any longer.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s not Ben.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Father,” came the reply as other beings began to shift beneath his skin, “It would be my pleasure.” The man takes a threatening step forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Diego’s fingers twitch above his blade but he makes no move to grapple it. Hesitation was blatant on his face. “D-Don’t do t-this Ben, we’re f-family..!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s not Ben. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Klaus begins backing up, his back colliding with one of his siblings as he tries to forcefully push them out of their stupor. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s not Ben. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His adrenaline starts pumping as he hesitantly tears his eyes away from their executioner, grabbing his siblings’ shoulders one at a time and trying to turn them towards the exit. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s not Ben.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Go,” he mumbles frantically, full-on shoving Allison and Five into action, “We need to </span>
  <em>
    <span>go</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luther and Diego remain motionless in heartbreak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Dad, Ben-” Luther babbles incredulously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus yanks him down by the collar to hiss, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s not Ben</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is slowly pushing their reluctant forms toward the exit, the look-alike’s smile widening as he nonchalantly made his way across the room to their catatonic states.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ben is gone!” anger and desperation raise Klaus’s voice to a new pitch, “That’s not Ben!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vanya is the first to snap out of it, probably from having watched their brother pass on with her own eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Klaus is right, we need to go!” She shouts as she attempts to shove not-Ben back with a fraction of her powers; it managed to slow him down but he was back on his feet in an instant and reaching for his shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rush of Vanya’s energy was all their family needed to kickstart into a running frenzy towards the exit, Five jumping to the front with the briefcase in hand. He kicked open the grand double doors and ordered, “Come on, move it before he unleashes the Horrors!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They scrambled out of the building, Klaus leading the way while Five waited until everyone got out before blipping to the front. “This way!” he said, making a sharp turn into an alley.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The twists and turns felt familiar for a moment, Klaus beginning to recall the many times he wandered through them as a rebellious teen. But then dread began to pool into his stomach as they turned right into a-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit! Dead end!” He tries to jump again but the blue in his hands dim with each push, Five finally sighing and squatting against the wall as he gestured for them to duck down. They all collectively pile behind the dumpster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do we do, Five? We’re cornered and we can’t kill our brother-” Diego begins but the assassin was quick to cut him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not our brother, simpleton. He may look like Ben, he may sound like Ben, but in this timeline, we don’t exist! He doesn’t know us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But still!” Luther blurts out, confliction apparent on his face, “I can’t hurt him: He’s just following orders!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allison nods rapidly, adding, “Yeah, he’s being used just like the rest of us!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don’t know if it occurred to all of you,” Five snaps in a condescending-like manner, “But he’s gonna kill us all with a bloodthirsty tentacle monster if we don’t do something!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“M-Maybe we don’t have to kill him,” Klaus chimes in shakily as his fingers drum upon his kneecap and his teeth nibble on his bottom lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five rolled his eyes and snarked, “Yeah, right, because he’s totally going to go back to Dad empty-handed. I get it, you and Ben were close but you said it yourself: Ben is gone. It’s a kill or be killed world and I’ve worked too hard to lose you assholes to our dead brother’s doppelganger!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What we need is a plan,” Five said over Klaus, not even sparing the medium a glance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not killing Ben-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What will happen to the timeline-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Sparrow Academy is just like us, they need our help-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus crossed his arms and whined loudly, “I have an idea though!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh great,” Luther mumbled exasperatedly, “This should be a good one-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Diego threw a glare, “Hey, back off-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guys, I think we should let him speak,” Vanya encouraged with a half-smile. Klaus flashed a grateful grin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Five sighed and sent him an impatient look, “Fine, but make it quick; the meter’s running.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh shit, he said he had an idea but he wasn’t actually expecting anyone to listen, especially all of them at the same time. “We c-could… scare him..?” The man didn’t sound very sure of himself but it seemed like a better solution than murdering the other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Scare the guy with an interdimensional portal in his stomach? You can’t be serious-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, even our Ben wasn’t scared of anything-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You high, bro?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Klaus rolled his eyes as he scoffed. “You guys don’t know shit; Ben was the most timid and fearful person I knew! (And that says a lot since I’m literally scared of the dark). Death may have hardened him but he still had the same fears. And if you believed our Ben’s tough-guy act than who’s to say you aren’t believing the doppelganger’s right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t know anything about this Ben-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everybody has fears,” the medium cut in, his arms crossed, “Even you, Luther. In fact, I’d bet money on </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben fearing failure as much as you with being Number One and all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vanya appeared intrigued, as did Five who went silent. “What do you purpose?” she asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If we scare the guy, he’d probably be more fearful of disappointing Daddy dearest, right? So if he were to run away and with his pride wounded, he’d probably lie to Reginald that we were taken care of. Then while not-Ben recovers, we have time to think of a better plan and won’t have to worry about more birdies being sent after us. If we kill him, who’s to say the other numbers won’t come in his steed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of this is based purely off a hunch, Klaus. How do you even know that we could scare him?” Allison questions doubtfully, “Who’s to say he won’t lash out more in fear? I can’t rumor the Horrors.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you can rumor Ben,” Diego pointed out, nodding his head at the medium. “Worst comes to worst, you rumor him into leaving. And if he’s scared enough, he won’t come back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luther let out a low groan in confusion. “But how would we even get close enough?” he whined, “We don’t want to hurt him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A distraction does the scaring,” Five said, his eyes narrowed in thought. He doesn’t meet anyone’s gaze as he adds, “And since I’m the quickest, I volunteer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way,” Diego said, “I think it should be Vanya: she can fly and shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five deadpanned, “And has very limited control of her powers. She might accidentally kill him; no offense Vanya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman shrugged in agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True but, Five, it’d be better to save your jumps for in case we need to make a daring escape,” Luther says. He then looks at Allison encouragingly, “And to get Allison in position.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a nagging voice in the back of Klaus’s head, one that sounds awfully familiar.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You know you can do it, Klaus. Show them how useful you are, how strong you’ve become.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart hurts at the words, glancing behind his siblings towards an empty space where his best friend would have normally been standing. Although he wasn’t here now, he could still imagine the soft smile and assuring eyes that would accompany him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Go on, Klaus. I believe in you. Do it for them; do it for me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a weary sigh, the medium stands and brushes off his lap. His siblings go quiet, turning to him in surprise. “I’ll do it,” he says with shaky resolve, his smile slightly crazed, “Being distracting and causing mischief is my specialty; y’all are a bunch of amateurs."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Allison, Luther, and Five didn’t look convinced.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He says a little more pleadingly, “Just let me do this, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m probably the only one who won’t die instantly from provoking him (as irritating as I might be).</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They didn’t get to argue about it much longer as footsteps were heard rounding the corner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Five bites out reluctantly, “But if you die, I’ll kill you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Klaus huffs a laugh at the contradiction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Diego nudges his foot. “Be careful, man. Don’t piss him off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Moi?” a hand raises to his chest in mock offense, his green eyes lighting up impishly as he grins, “Pissing people off? Never.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all roll their eyes in response but there is slight apprehension and concern on their faces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw everybody’s worried about lil’ ol’ me?” the medium coos, stepping out from behind the dumpster. He says softer, “Don’t worry; lying and manipulation could practically be my second superpower.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That shouldn’t be something you are proud to admit,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he could practically hear Ben saying.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The look-alike appears pleased as he enters the dead-end and his scanning gaze settles on the medium.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Benny, if you’re up there, grant me strength.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey asshole, I see they sent their weakest link out as a sacrifice. Maybe I’ll save you for last if you tell me where the other’s are; I was really itching to fight the white-eyed girl.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Little Vanya? I know she’s cute and all but you’re not really her type,” Klaus replied cooly as he crossed his arms and cocked a hip, giving him the unimpressed look-over that always seemed to make guys shrink in on themselves. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe if you lost the dick and had a cute southern accent, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he restrained from adding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The not-Ben glared at him but then gave a sly smirk. “And what? You think you’re mine, pretty boy? Sorry to disappoint but I’m not into your kind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Klaus’s eyes rolled in annoyance; what was with straights calling him ‘pretty boy’? It’s not his fault he’s hot; they’d be lucky to have him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As if. Maybe if you wiped that dirt off your upper lip and didn’t look like my dead brother, I’d consider granting you the honor of taking this ass for a ride. Until then, I’ll politely tell you to fuck off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man’s lip curled in disgust and Klaus mentally curses for letting the homophobic comments get to him; he’s been through a lot this week, he didn’t need Ben’s face following in Uncle Brian’s footsteps. He has to keep the look-alike busy and not provoke him </span>
  <em>
    <span>enough </span>
  </em>
  <span>to unleash the eldritch monsters though. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Relax Klaus; don’t let him get to you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You won’t stand a chance against me; your siblings are stupid for sending you here to piss me off,” the doppelganger growls; the skin beneath his shirt shifted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh I know I can’t fight you,” Klaus confesses with an amused tone, “You thought I was-? Ha, hell no; I’m more of a lover than a fighter. Yup; you’d win, hands down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here to persuade you.” The medium stretched his arms above his head in blasé, a smile pulling on his lips as he faked a yawn. (Always one for the dramatics; he could effortlessly join Allison in Hollywood). </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not-Ben scoffs and crosses his arms, seeming to humor him for the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus’s smile widens and he put his hands on his hips with new-found confidence; maybe this was going to be easier than he thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who says I want to listen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m not dead yet, right? I’d count that as a win.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes darken maliciously. “The only reason you’re still alive is because I find your stupidity mildly amusing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, aren’t you charming.” Klaus chuckles wryly, “Edge lord has a sense of humor hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are testing my patience, séance,” not-Ben seethes as he bares his teeth, “This is your last chance to accept my offer-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you know who I am?” Four went stiff and his bravado faded, his expression falling as he stared with wide eyes. The other smirks darkly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t I? You’ve ruined my father’s life; you and all the rest of the umbrella dipshits,” he sneers and his hair falls into one of his eyes, “It was easy to figure out who </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> are; I just had to think of the most useless and expendable of the six.” He places two fingers to his face (a gesture Ben used to do to feign deep thinking) as the other arm supports his elbow. “Speaking of which, shouldn’t there be seven of you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Klaus’s jaw ticked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I see, is that a sensitive subject for you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The medium’s hands clenched into fists.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened? Did you lose one on the way?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The air began to sizzle in his ears, a sudden draft falling over the alley.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It shouldn’t be a problem for you though, right pretty boy? You can speak to the dead.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sparrow’s One wiggles his fingers through the air, mouthing the word ‘spooky’ in faux fascination. “Tell me: what’s it like seeing your dead brother all the time? Do you feel guilty for being so weak and pathetic? Does he blame you for his death?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grief came in a wave; the subject was a sore spot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well isn’t this interesting,” the man says spitefully with a wicked grin, “You seem sad; you don’t see him huh? How ironic that you can’t even do the one thing your shitty power is good for.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes glowed in anger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do I look like him? Is that why you’re all so scared to fight me? That explains why you asswads kept calling me Ben… You’re a bunch of cowards; no wonder Ben died.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That does it for Klaus, the pressure in his mind going outward until a long list of victims becomes apparent in his mind. He reaches out to the strings wavering in the wind, his fists turning blue as he tugs on each one with a fervent vengeance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wanna know the only good thing about my </span>
  <em>
    <span>shitty</span>
  </em>
  <span> powers?” Klaus asks, looking down at his feet as a mirthless smile spreads across his lips, “It’s that you don’t fear death-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not-Ben glances around himself, feeling many sets of eyes peering at him but he didn’t see anyone. A shiver goes down his spine as the beast stirred within him in a threatened like manner. He growls, “I can change that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-But other people still do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A soft murmur fills the quiet alley. Klaus’s eyes stay on his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Ben may be extremely different,” he chuckles all to breathily, a disconcerting blue hue igniting in his irises, “But your tentacle friends aren’t; they’ve killed just as many people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The moans grow louder, the air feeling stuffy as a blue haze surrounded the doppelganger who was resembling a deer in headlights. Shadows danced across his vision but none of them took a solid form; Klaus lets the souls gather around their killer, allowing the energy within him to pool into his palms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should go back home before things get ugly; in fact, you should forget you ever saw us,” Klaus advises in a light tone. The not-Ben tries to move but his limbs are being held down by cerulean disfigured corpses. He scowls and struggles against the ghosts but they don’t budge and he begins to panic, wide eyes darting to Klaus uneasily.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“W-What are you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead,” the medium dares, looking up with a fiery gaze, “release the Horrors. You can’t kill what’s already dead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man squirms under his stare, flinching away from the spatting and hissing of the dead that assailed his ears and hovered over his vulnerable form. “You s-sick fuck!” he shouts angrily, his neck straining as he tries to yank free, “Let m-me go!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Klaus’s smile grew, walking closer to the man wearing his brother’s suit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The captive snarls at him. “I’m going to kill you; I’m going to rip you apart right in front of your stupid siblings!” he vows venomously, the Horrors rolling beneath his shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The medium’s lips are stretched much too thin, an uncomfortable amount of teeth showing; he was tiptoeing around insanity’s lot with the power that thrummed at his fingertips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt good, hell, it felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>great</span>
  </em>
  <span> to strike fear into someone else for a change. He relished in it; he savored the amount of time he had complete and utter control of the situation before Allison would be signaled to give the final blow. This asshole, this homophobic prig, this son of a bitch </span>
  <em>
    <span>tarnishing his dear Benny’s image…</span>
  </em>
  <span> was at </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> mercy and with just a simple flick of the wrist, he could be ripped to shreds by the damned. But honestly, where’s the fun in having a lackluster version of Ben following him around? He quite wholeheartedly was disgusted by this man, by this </span>
  <em>
    <span>imposter</span>
  </em>
  <span> for even daring to speak illy of his siblings; and while he deemed him not worthy to die by his hand simply because the medium didn’t wish to see him in the afterlife, he most certainly wasn’t going to ease up on his torment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do it then,” he murmurs sweetly, “God and I aren’t on the best terms at the moment so I’m positive she’ll send me right back. And when she does, I’ll know exactly where to find you. And you can kill me, over and over again… but nothing in this entire universe will keep me from hunting you down. I’ll tear a piece of your sanity off, bit by bit, until you are nothing more than a hollow shell. And then, my dear </span>
  <em>
    <span>foolish</span>
  </em>
  <span> friend, you’ll be practically begging fate to make you a ghost physically as well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man is still, his face pale and sweaty. He looked like he was about to piss himself. “T-The eldritch will rip you apart until there is n-nothing left to come back,” he warily declares, his lip pulled between his teeth to keep it from trembling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Klaus releases a looney sounding laugh that was all too airy and pitched, making the other cringe inwardly. He leans in closer, his breath on his ear as he whispers, “Do you really think the robbers and villains and baddies you’ve slaughtered will let you get that far?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not-Ben gulps, glancing frantically around himself before meeting his eyes again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So…” Klaus leans his chin onto his goodbye hand in faux fondness, “Have I persuaded you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W-What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus’s eyes narrowed in warning as his hand reaches out to grip the man’s chin with manicured fingers. “Have. I. Persuaded.</span>
  <em>
    <span> You?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“To l-leave? I-I… I c-can’t…!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The medium pulled away, straightening up to look down on the man as he was pushed to his knees. “Fine then. Allison: it’s all you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a flash of pale blue light as Five and Allison appeared behind Sparrow’s Number One, her elegant form leaning forward to murmur in his ear. “I heard a rumor,” his horrified, dark almond eyes slipped into a milky white, “that you went home believing you killed us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Klaus releases his hold on the spirits then, waiting to relax until he saw them fade back into nothingness. He sighs, suddenly feeling exhausted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And as he watches the look-alike’s back as he wanders out of the alleyway towards the academy, the story of the scorpion and the frog pops into his mind. But he can’t really decide which role he falls under: on one hand, he was the one to offer to spare the man if he, in turn, left them alone. So that would make not-Ben the scorpion, right?; since he wanted to kill them despite his best interest?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But on the other hand, Klaus was told to just distract him, not to restrain him with his victims and torment him with vivid promises and threats until he was a shuddering mess at his feet; it was not in Klaus’s best interest to make the look-alike of his dead brother vow vengeance on him specifically for the humiliating position, especially when those tentacles could rip him apart in seconds and there was literally nothing that he could do about it. Sure, he died once and came back but the dude had a point: you can’t come back to a body of fleshy confetti splattered on the walls and littered across the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had dug himself a deep hole, now with lies of dubious immortality sealing him in; perhaps he wanted not-Ben to suffer, perhaps he wanted somebody to fear him. Perhaps he was the scorpion in the story, just waiting dormant until he lost his better half permanently and couldn’t even take drugs to numb away his pain. Yet, it seemed that he has been the one stung with grief and bitterness; it seemed that he was the one hurting and slowly dying. Or maybe that venom has always been there: implanted by himself and not by another. The frog dies before the scorpion sinks so only time will tell, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, he is not vicious; he does not enjoy hurting others. He’s a masochist, not a sadist; he enjoys the hurt in his own heart that is triggered by disappointing others: it is a constant in his life, something that will never leave him; an old friend. He is not the naive, trusting, and altruistic frog. He is not the backstabbing, sadistic, and foolish scorpion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He is a</span>
  <span> Sonoran desert toad that, when provoked, will just eat the scorpion. Fuck the fables; he’ll write his own damn story. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I would love to hear your opinions so don't be hesitant to share them in the comments:) I wasn't really sure how Sparrow Ben would behave or act so ig I went a little oc with him... Oh well.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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